As a rule, when semi-naked men daubed in body paint offer me grapes at four in the morning, I make my excuses and leave..............

I say as a rule, but to be honest, this is the first time it’s ever happened to me. At Bomba Fusion at four-thirty in the morning though, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world, as no one else appears to be phased by the Caligulan display taking place in the Soundhaus bar. The ambitious scale of Bomba and the effort that has gone in to making this one of the most promising new nights in Glasgow leaves the place with an infectious enthusiasm that spreads through the place like the clap through freshers. The main room offered up drum and bass for most of the night, breaking it up with freestylers Acappella Hardcore, but the second room seemed to change direction completely every time I wandered off for a bit. Trying to make sense of jazz-fusion noise one minute and windmilling about in spastic abandon down the front of the warehouse room the next is mildly disorientating at first but after a while it looks like there’s no one in the place that hasn’t found what they came here for. The only thing predictable about the night is the fact that you’re guaranteed to find something which knocks you on your arse, regardless of taste, persuasion or logic.

Leon D having been delayed, Schematic stepped up as saviour and filled the main room up sharpish with melodic, sunshine drum-and-bass while refraining from pulverising the floor too early. As the room begins to fill up. Accappella Hardcore jump onstage and start noising up the crowd. Their style takes in hip-hop and drum-and-bass beatboxing and random bursts of pops and squeaks but still manages to sound alien to anything you’ve heard before. They have an edgy, slightly unhinged air about them that makes perfect sense onstage, but as they’re shoved between Schematic and Leon D, the crowd don’t seem to know how to react. Although Kill Binary Kill’s dense sounding assault provokes a similar response at first, they deserve a chance, and with patience, there are tunes to be found lurking under the stramash being produced in the corner of the bar. K.B.K are an indication of what to expect from Bomba Fusion: they may not be to everyone’s taste but for an hour, they manage to make enough people get up and shake it even though it’s like trying to dance to the sound of a kettle boiling, a bag of puppies banging about in a steel drum and a loading Commodore 64 at the same time.

Having played the pre-club and thinking he’d payed his dues for the night, Full Phat had justifiably decided to catch up and was clearly minging by the time he was asked to do a swift hour in the small room. Despite this obvious disadvantage, he pulled one of the best sets he’s played in a long time out the bag, seamlessly mixing dark electro and house. Boom Monk Ben kept the bar stowed right to the death with a mash up of hip hop, funk, electro and whatever else seemed to cross his mind at the time. Phatty and Ben present their four deck mayhem at the next Bomba Fusion and judging from the reaction after both sets it should only be missed on pain of death.

The fire dancers in the main room cause a fair commotion as they’re close enough for a few brave fools to try to reach into the light like suicidal moths. Those down the front go postal for them of course because as everyone knows, the more monged people are they more they love their big twirly lights. Rather than acting as some novelty sideshow, like the grape guy, they just seem to fit in as a timely shift away from the lazy visuals that seem to dominate these days. Would you rather have a copy of Leon shoved on a projector at the last minute or people spinning around trying not to set themselves on fire? Eh? Though as much.

Promoter Gavin Brown is adamant that Bomba Fusion should remain far removed from the overbearing feeling of scene nights in Glasgow. “It’s a mixed crowd and we love everyone whether they’re jakeys, neds, swots or twats, but this line up is the sort you couldn’t really appreciate if you were totally out of your box. It’s proper, proper dance music.” It’s a sentiment that everyone sick of funeral faced, uber-sincere techno, house and drum-and-bass heads would agree with, as people will always try desperately to keep their own little corner of Glasgow free from corruption by people who couldn’t give a shit about their white labels. Beyond all the boundaries between styles there is a niche for nights like Fusion that offer more than just a couple of hundred people going bushty in a dark room for a few hours. “I hate scene nights. We’re trying to get away from that. Drum and Bass is a niche market and if you promote a night strictly as that, unless you’ve got a brand that’s been built up, it’s really only aficionado’s that go and the mainstream just aren’t that interested.” As well as Boom Monk Ben and Full Phat’s